190+ Bagel Puns Are a Hole Lotta Fun that are Hole-y Hilarious

Hey, carb-craving crew! 🥯 If you’ve ever slathered cream cheese on a fresh bagel during a foggy San Francisco brunch and let a pun pop out that had your table in stitches, you’re my kind of morning muncher.

I’m Emily Johnson, mom of two bagel bandits who once turned our LA kitchen into a “dough-main” disaster with a DIY bagel boil (think: floating flour clouds and zero boiling water oops!).

Between toasting everything bagels for school runs, pairing poppy seeds with beachside smoothies, and dodging the kids’ “one more hole joke, Mom!” demands at dawn, I’ve holed up these puns from countless coffee shop crawls and carb-loaded family feasts.

Picture this: last Hanukkah, we had a “bagel bash” where these zingers had Uncle Dave choking on his lox happy tears all around!

Bagels aren’t just chewy breakfast bosses they’re pun perfection! With their signature holes, sesame sprinkles, and that “everything” attitude, they’re baked for wordplay that’ll have you looping in laughter.

190+ Bagel Puns That’ll Have You Looping with Laughter

Schmear up! These are numbered and emoji-sprinkled for easy toasts share with your brunch bunch or hoard like hole guards. From plain to poppy, every one’s a winner.

1. You’re hole-y mine! 🥯
2. That’s bagel-ievable! 😲
3. Let’s schmear the love. 🧀
4. I’m dough-lighted! 😊
5. No plain Jane here! 🚫
6. You’re the everything bagel. 🌟
7. Lox and loaded! 🐟
8. That’s toasty news! 🔥
9. I’m poppy-ng for joy! 🌸
10. You sesame street smart. 🥰
11. Bagel with it! 😏
12. Let’s boil down to fun. 🫧
13. You’re my hole truth. 💯
14. Cinnamon swirl dreams! 🌀
15. No stale mates! 🥛
16. That’s raisin the bar! 🍇
17. I’m chewy on you! 😍
18. You onion roll! 🧅
19. Pumpernickel power! 🌾
20. Let’s slice the drama. 🔪
21. You’re blueberry bliss. 🫐
22. Egg everything! 🥚
23. I’m whole wheat heart. ❤️
24. No half-baked holes! 😂
25. That’s garlic knot funny! 🧄
26. You’re asiago ago! 🧀
27. Multigrain magic! 🌾
28. Let’s toaster together. 🍞
29. I’m bubbly boil babe. 🫧
30. You sun-dried tomato! ☀️
31. Jalapeno business! 🌶️
32. That’s smoked salmon! 🐟
33. No empty calories! 🚫
34. You’re rainbow bagel! 🌈
35. Spinach fiesta! 🥬
36. I’m dough-nut quit! 🍩
37. You cinnamon swirl! 🌀
38. Pretzel twist! 🥨
39. Let’s schmear campaign! 🧀
40. That’s hole new level! 🕳️
41. No flop rise! 🚫
42. You’re everything nice! 😇
43. Lox of love! ❤️
44. I’m poppy seed spy! 🌸
45. You sesame seed! 🥰
46. Bagel head! 🧠
47. Let’s boil-er room! 🔥
48. That’s toasty toast! 🍞
49. No plain sailing! 🚢
50. You’re cinnamon raisin! 🍇
51. Eggel bagel! 🥚
52. I’m whole some fun! 🌾
53. You onion bun! 🧅
54. Pumper-nickel! 🌾
55. Let’s slice of life! 🔪
56. That’s blue-berry best! 🫐
57. No stale tale! 📖
58. You’re asiago cheese! 🧀
59. Multigrain migraine? Nah! 🌾
60. I’m garlic breath! 🧄
61. You jalapeno face! 🌶️
62. Smoked out! 🐟
63. Let’s rainbow road! 🌈
64. That’s spinach dip! 🥬
65. No dough-less! 🚫
66. You’re cinnamon stick! 🌀
67. Pretzel logic! 🥨
68. I’m schmear campaigner! 🧀
69. You hole enchilada! 🌯
70. Bagel with destiny! 😏
71. Let’s toaster oven! 🍞
72. That’s poppy culture! 🌸
73. No sesame street! 🥰
74. You’re *l’ox’ star! 🐟
75. Everything bagel! 🌟
76. I’m plain awesome! 🚫
77. You raisin hell! 🍇
78. Cinnamon swirl girl! 🌀
79. Let’s egg on! 🥚
80. That’s whole wheat! 🌾
81. No onion rings! 🧅
82. You’re pumpernickel punk! 🌾
83. Blueberry muffin top! 🫐
84. I’m asiago ago! 🧀
85. You multigrain maniac! 🌾
86. Garlic knot! 🧄
87. Let’s jalapeno business! 🌶️
88. That’s smoked meat! 🐟
89. No rainbow trout! 🌈
90. You’re spinach popeye! 🥬
91. Dough-nut ring! 🍩
92. I’m cinnamon toast! 🌀
93. You pretzel pretender! 🥨
94. Schmear and tear! 🧀
95. Let’s hole court press! 🏀
96. That’s bagel head! 🧠
97. No boil over! 🫧
98. You’re toasty marshmallow! 🔥
99. Poppy seed poppy! 🌸
100. I’m sesame open! 🥰
101. You lox and key! 🔑
102. Everything under sun! ☀️
103. Let’s plain Jane! 🚫
104. That’s raisin d’etre! 🍇
105. No cinnamon sin! 🌀
106. You’re egg -squisite! 🥚
107. Whole wheat hearted! 🌾
108. I’m onion skin! 🧅
109. You pumpernickel pickle! 🌾
110. Blueberry hill! 🫐
111. Let’s asiago cheese it! 🧀
112. That’s multigrain migraine! 🌾
113. No garlic press! 🧄
114. You’re jalapeno popper! 🌶️
115. Smoked salmon run! 🐟
116. I’m rainbow connection! 🌈
117. You spinach dipper! 🥬
118. Dough-less heart! 🍩
119. Let’s cinnamon swirl! 🌀
120. That’s pretzel twist! 🥨
121. No schmear campaign! 🧀
122. You’re hole nine yards! 🕳️
123. Bagel with fate! 😏
124. I’m toaster strudel! 🍞
125. You poppy cock! 🌸
126. Sesame street fighter! 🥰
127. Let’s lox it up! 🐟
128. That’s everything bagel! 🌟
129. No plain text! 🚫
130. You’re raisin cane! 🍇
131. Cinnamon bun! 🌀
132. I’m egg -head! 🥚
133. You whole sale! 🌾
134. Onion rings lord! 🧅
135. Let’s pumpernickel pick! 🌾
136. That’s blueberry bush! 🫐
137. No asiago cheese! 🧀
138. You’re multigrain mutt! 🌾
139. Garlic breadwinner! 🧄
140. I’m jalapeno lips! 🌶️
141. You smoked ham! 🐟
142. Rainbow warrior! 🌈
143. Let’s spinach lasagna! 🥬
144. That’s dough-ray me! 🍩
145. No cinnamon stickler! 🌀
146. You’re pretzel pretz! 🥨
147. Schmear campaign trail! 🧀
148. I’m hole hog! 🕳️
149. You bagel head! 🧠
150. Boil down! 🫧
151. Let’s toasty notes! 🔥
152. That’s poppy seed! 🌸
153. No sesame oil! 🥰
154. You’re lox box! 🐟
155. Everything goes! 🌟
156. I’m plain sight! 🚫
157. You raisin bread! 🍇
158. Cinnamon toast crunch! 🌀
159. Let’s egg timer! 🥚
160. That’s whole truth! 🌾
161. No onion breath! 🧅
162. You’re pumpernickel punk! 🌾
163. Blueberry muffin! 🫐
164. I’m asiago cheese! 🧀
165. You multigrain mayhem! 🌾
166. Garlic knot right! 🧄
167. Let’s jalapeno pop! 🌶️
168. That’s smoked out! 🐟
169. No rainbow end! 🌈
170. You’re spinach popeye! 🥬
171. Dough-nut hole! 🍩
172. I’m cinnamon girl! 🌀
173. You pretzel logic! 🥨
174. Schmear and loathing! 🧀
175. Let’s hole enchilada! 🌯
176. That’s bagel with destiny! 😏
177. No toaster strudel! 🍞
178. You’re poppy culture! 🌸
179. Sesame open sesame! 🥰
180. I’m lox star! 🐟
181. You everything bagel! 🌟
182. Plain Jane doe! 🚫
183. Let’s raisin d’etre! 🍇
184. That’s cinnamon sin! 🌀
185. No egg -squisite! 🥚
186. You’re whole wheat! 🌾
187. Onion rings! 🧅
188. I’m pumpernickel pick! 🌾
189. You blueberry bush! 🫐
190. Asiago cheese it! 🧀
191. Let’s multigrain mutt! 🌾
192. That’s garlic press! 🧄
193. No jalapeno face! 🌶️
194. You’re smoked salmon! 🐟
195. Rainbow connection! 🌈
196. I’m spinach dip! 🥬
197. You dough-less! 🍩
198. Cinnamon toast! 🌀
199. Let’s pretzel pretz! 🥨
200. That’s schmear campaign! 🧀
201. No hole nine! 🕳️
202. You’re bagel head! 🧠
203. Boil down! 🫧
204. I’m toasty marshmallow! 🔥
205. You poppy cock! 🌸
206. Sesame street! 🥰
207. Let’s lox it up! 🐟
208. That’s everything bagel! 🌟
209. No plain text! 🚫
210. You’re raisin cane! 🍇
211. Cinnamon bun! 🌀
212. I’m egg -head! 🥚
213. You whole sale! 🌾
214. Onion rings lord! 🧅
215. Let’s pumpernickel punk! 🌾
216. That’s blueberry hill! 🫐
217. No asiago cheese! 🧀
218. You’re multigrain migraine! 🌾
219. Garlic bread! 🧄
220. I’m jalapeno lips! 🌶️
221. Bonus: You’re bagel-y pun-tastic! 🥯

These puns are your schmear for sweetening up a deli selfie, lightening a lunch line, or just filling the void on a void-of-vibes Monday. Whether you’re a plain Jane or an everything enthusiast, this dozen-plus dozen of over 150 will leave you well-rounded.

From toasty one-liners to schmancy zingers, we’ve risen to the occasion. Ready to get your bake on? No hard feelings if you snort your schmear. Let’s bagel and roll! 😄

Bagel Puns FAQ: Your Schmear-y Questions, Toasted with Twists

Got a hole in your humor? Our 40+ FAQ bagels deliver quick Q&As perfect for deli debates or dawn dilemmas!

Final Words:

Nu, what a schmancy schlep through bagel pun bakeries! From my sesame-scattered California counters where the little ones once “holed” up in a fort of bagel boxes (and we defended it with pun grenades) to your favorite deli daydream, I hope these have you looping with loopy laughs.

As a mom who’s toasting more bagels than temper tantrums, I can say: a hole-y pun is the lox that locks in the love, turning plain days into everything feasts. Big, bubbly boils of thanks for bagging this batch with me now slice one to your squad and watch the schmears spread.

What’s your chewiest chortle, or hankering for “donut delights” or “pretzel pranks” next? Schmear it in the comments, or DM your doughy darlings. You’re the everything to my plain keep bagging those beautiful bites! 🥯😘